Some days I wake up happy,

As though the sun will never set.

And some days I wake up sad,

Thinking of things I’ve done I regret.

Some days I wake up anxious,

Feeling the fear of failure in my bones.

And some days I wake up next to you

Empowered by our love.

 

It’s on those days I wish  

I could take that feeling of rapture

To bottle it and not distinguish

This feeling I have captured.

 

I cannot muster enough courage

to find the words

that are in my heart

for you.

I'm fragile, and frightened, and frankly...

a bit fatigued.

I don't know how to tell you

that I think of you everyday...

every hour...

every second.

Maybe I feel like...

this feeling of ecstasy will end...

that you will no longer want me...

or use me until I'm spent.

I want to trust you....to hold on

to what brought us together

and take that moment

and safely tuck it inside

my soul...

forever.

I'm so tired, and I have a funny story, even if it was at my own expense, to share with you all...But alas, I have to get ready for work.

So, without further ado....I'll just be a tease until I actually get motivated to tell you all about it!

---

Edit:

So, I close at the coffee shop Thursday night, and it's a late night coffee house, so we close at midnight during the week and 3 am on the weekends. (*Which, thank the gods, I will be putting my two weeks notice soon. Working this second job has quite possibly made me a functioning smoker...it's like a functioning alcoholic, but with sobriety. ) I also work a full time job, 8am -5pm at an office, and would just rather work there, and that be it. But, whatever...until I can definitely know that I don't owe my lawyers anymore money for the divorce fees, I would rather play it safe. Or, maybe I'll just put in my two-weeks on Tuesday, which is probably what I'll end up doing anyway. Yay for sanity, right? Riiiiiight.

Well, to continue my story, as I was closing up shop on Thursday night, I finished cleaning out the men's bathroom, and walk out back into the main lobby. That's when I hear giggling...which turned out to be drunken laughter. I close by myself, at a downtown coffee shop at midnight...I don't know about you, but it can get a little creepy there all alone at night at times. Plus, I'm pretty sure the cafe's haunted, but that's another story.
Anyhoo...I hear this laughing and stop dead in my tracks. I turn to see where it's coming from, and this drunk, homeless guy is putting his face up to  one of the freaking windows, just staring and giggling at me!! Those of you who know me pretty well know that I have a humongous fight or flight instinct. Well, for what it's worth, my instinct told me to flip off the homeless guy. Yep...as soon as I did it, I thought..."Oh, good job. Piss off the crazed homeless dude." I don't know why, but I just flipped the guy off. I guess I was too tired to put up with any other kind of drama, and he certainly fit the bill. Well, I had already finished closing and all I really needed to do was lock the door and set the alarm, and I did this at amazing speed. I could hear the guy rounding the corner, towards the door, so I casually sprinted to my car, keys in hand as soon as I made sure the alarm was set.

Have you ever heard anyone who you know was certifiable just randomly talk to themselves? Well, this guy was definitely speaking his own language, because he was just speaking jibberish. And walking toward me while I made my way to my car. I cannot tell you how freaked out I was!