Wednesday, 20 May 2009

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    Lady Sings the Blues
    By Various Artists
    Solitude - Ella Fitzgerald
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    The Strange Dream

    I had a dream last night, a very vivid one in fact. I dreamt that I was looking at myself in the mirror, and my hair continued to get longer and darker as I brushed it. It became fuller...and in that mirror I saw myself as possibly others have seen me, but what I was never able to see. This may sound narcissistic...but it's not meant that way at all. I was finally able to see my own beauty while looking at my changing reflection there.I saw myself become someone to be admired...a genuinely good person.

    For whatever reason I have never been able or allowed myself to see this...but after a conversation I had last night with my man...I guess it came through my subconscious.

    I need to stop seeing all of the negative in everything...I just don't know how. I've got a book that might help me with obsessive thought patterns, of which I am all too familiar.

    I'm so tired of feeling this way...feeling like every day is a struggle...logically I shouldn't feel this way, and I know this. I'm just so damned tired of fighting these old demons.


Comments (2)

  • aililia
    You are damned pretty... and your current fb pic is a friggin wower... I meant to comment on that on facebook, but since I"m here now, I'll toss that one out to ya.
  • Laurielou1618
    *Does a happy dance and waves monkey arms around!!!!*  I actually think I might be able to help you with some of the thought patterns, but I need to be there in person.  Also I may have a book or two that would help.  We will talk.  And I love you.
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